Some Honesty

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Zieg
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Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 12:00 am
Location: MI, U.S

Some Honesty

Post by Zieg » Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:07 pm

Let me start off by saying that if some of this post seems a bit on the angry side, it's my frustration.

So, I had a conversation with Novus. He told me to lay it all out here on the forums. Everything I told him. So here it is.

I have constantly said that I've had stuff going on and that's why I don't play. Well, frankly that's bullsht. Not a lot of the newer clan members know a lot about me, but I am one of the people who has been here the longest. The clan started in November of 2004, I came around in about June of 2005. So basically 6 months out from the start. After several failed application attempts, I finally made it in in January of 2006 (or 2007. Can't remember). I hit Padawan by June. And stayed there... Until I was demoted a few months ago... I stopped playing because I became discouraged. I had been here since almost the start, but had nothing to show for it except some useless stories. What made it worse is that while I stayed in one place, I watched several people shoot right by me, taking the spots I wanted. That lead to another factor. I quickly became jealous of everyone who walked right by me which in turn lead to more frustrations. I hated that everyone was better than me. I never felt I would ever have the ability to make it anywhere. So I gave up. I figured I would just say eff it and someone else can take my spot.

To put it simply, I felt everyone else was above me and I was just gonna fall to the way side. My jealousy and frustrations took over and that was it.

I need to get my feet off the ground. I need to finally get off of square one.

If I don't get it this time, it is a lost cause.

Maybe this time.

Name: Zieg
Age: 24
Rank: Some old grump

Verlathor
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Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Britain

Some Honesty

Post by Verlathor » Sun Nov 20, 2011 11:18 pm

Kinda knew about this already but really man, you just have to take it in your stride. Sure, I haven't been here as long as you, but I've constantly been seeing people blazing past me, even now people who have played for a matter of months are blitzing me. You just have to accept that you aren't necessarily going to be the greatest and best, regardless of the time you put in. It sounds disheartening, I know, but there's probably something you can do better than anyone else, or at least very well.

So if you're going to come back, good. But if you want to get anywhere, you'll need to play a lot. You'll need to take every defeat as a lesson and move on. If someone overtakes you, you will just have to try harder. If you try your hardest and still lag behind, you are still trying your hardest and so you can be proud of yourself.

I don't like seeing people who've been around for ages disappearing, so I do really hope you get moving and become an active part of the community once more.
Name: Verlathor
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Saber Style: Fior Di Battalgia
Former Masters: Raikiri, Mydin, Leonhart
Former Padawan: JustNeilOne
Skin: Female Jedi Customisation

ZeroTM
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Some Honesty

Post by ZeroTM » Mon Nov 21, 2011 2:05 am

"Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself."
~William Faulkner

It has helped me, I hope it helps you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rank: Jedi Consular
Status: Retired
Crystal: Purple
Combat: Ataru
Model: Advent Children - Spanki/White Cloud
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"All those people do is insult my intelligence." ~Novus'Olm

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IrishDragon
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Some Honesty

Post by IrishDragon » Mon Nov 21, 2011 4:27 am

You're not the first nor will you be the last person who feels like this. You were part of a system that was slightly flawed. Padawans going for almost a year at a time before taking Jedi trials, be they because of inability in skill, attendance or just an absentee Master. It was so bad that at one point I had to promote Raikiri and Novus to JK status without having given them JK trials. I believe they attempted their trials a year or more later, and even then I don't believe they did so well. I believe Novus even failed his first attempt. I could be mistaken, I've seen a lot in my years here. Some disappointment, and some wonderful success stories.

I'm glad you are still willing to give it a shot and try again. It speaks a lot to your character.

See you on the servers. And thanks for sharing.

Starwarsgeek
~IrishDragon
Leader/Founder of the Angels of Fire
STEAM: irishdragon
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Zieg
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Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 12:00 am
Location: MI, U.S

Some Honesty

Post by Zieg » Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:16 am

If I can just get going, I'll be okay. It's just I've struggled with that for such a long time, it just got to me. So let's hope I can do it this time around. No harm in trying again.

Name: Zieg
Age: 24
Rank: Some old grump

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